The best are bridge to terabithia, Jacob I have loved and the chronicles of narnia: the silver chair.

<3

It's pretty evident isn't it? I think Katherine Paterson is an awesome writer hence two of her books are here. Both bridge to terabithia and jacob i have loved are so real and so captivating, i just love 'em.

And narnia goes without saying. I love the silver chair amongst all the other books.

I can't really say why i love 'em, these books. Because I just do. It's like falling in love, do you need a reason? HAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Frankly, if you'd love me you'd read these books (blackmail)

PLEASE I BEG YOU.

Oh and the worst books are twilight, the blue girl. Just two :)

Sorry all twilight fans, but the book was bad, you gotta admit. I have actually read better fanfiction. At least the cover was nice.
And the blue girl was just creepy. Eeek.

Today is such a beautiful day. *dreamy face*
the sky is so bluuuuue.
It's been overcast for days and finally the sky is back. :D

Anyhoo, we just got our BEHORG presentation results back.
We got a humble B, but it was good enough for us. We all got so emotional we started hugging each other. I felt as if I won an oscar.

HAHAHAHAHAH.

Ah, the lulz of life

And yes, evidently things just got better.

(L)

I cry so easily these days

On my DISC Personality profile, I am supposed to be an S personality, meaning steady/stability.
Which means I don't really like change, and I am quite likely to resist/oppose change.

But I am pretty sure I am different now, I have changed.

For one, I am more attuned to my emotions. I am still as logical and I still rationalise my feelings. I keep them under control, but I still deal with them. I know I bury my emotions sometimes, and right now, I am learning to deal with it, and that's a change!

Secondly, I am a lot more empathetic. Say I have this crabby cabby (I did, haha). I won't go complaining how he is so crabby to me, and how I ought to be getting better service. Why? Perhaps I think, maybe the guy had a bad day, something bad happened to him. This isn't at all like me, and I am really glad I am changing for the better. It may not seem much to you, but I am really very selfish. Empathy is like a personal miracle, mkay.

Also, I no longer hide behind facades too. I dont cling on to one identity of myself and work my life around it. Okay, this is a little vague but hear me out mkay? I got friends who identify themself as the "arts student", or the 'marvel geek" or "I am the cool sporty guy". They divide themselves into these sort of categories, that are completely redundant. Because essentially we are all the same. Just because I look nerdy doesn't necessarily mean I do well in my studies, or that I am socially awkward, or that I have no friends. Just because I am a 'jock' doesn't mean I can't like to study? Say nerdy science jokes? Why limit yourself from certain behaviours that don't correspond to your (very myopic) self-concept?

Instead, I see myself as a sort of an entity that is constantly changing. (haha, yes i called myself an entity) I am not defined by these identities/attributes/traits.I am created by God, and he shapes me and the experiences he lets me have, the lessons he lets me learn and the blessings he pours on me. I can't say that I learnt to be attuned to my emotions, or that I am going to be empathetic to everyone all the time. All I know it that I am blessed and created by God, and he alone shapes my being. Who am I? Whoever the creator creates me to be.

Yes, I am mad.
On a more sane note, i will post about a conversation I had with my group
We were talking about where will we go if poly doesn't work out.
Karen was saying she's gonna work first then go to college? Muslihah went "I can't go anywhere, i got no other plans" But she is the last to worry among us as she has a 3.9 GPA. (WHAT) Elijah was the entrepreneur and he said he's going to open a bar. LOL. Frankly I dont rmb what Aricia said, but she said a lot of negative stuff, like how she should drop out and all. :(
Anyhoo, I was like, I munna go to bible school! Why? Because if no one else wants me maybe God will! LOL.

Oh and I got loads to do.
bb

I hate all human beings, all I see is wickedness, and I can't think of one person I do not detest.

Jesus is my Lord, and the stronger that reality becomes, the more I accept that, the more freedom and liberty I enjoy.

Without naming names, say one thing to someone.
FUCK OFF AND DIE.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend / girlfriend drinks?
No.

Where is the biggest scar on your body?
This knife wound on my thigh.

Have you ever been caught skipping class?
Sunday school, yes.

When you like someone, do you picture what your children will look like?
Yea.

Do you hate anyone?
Yes.

You caught your best friend smoking weed in the school bathroom, what do you do?
I don't believe you... YOU'RE NOT SHARING WITH ME???

Do you remember things, or do you have to write them down?
I don't even bother to remember things anymore

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Doubt so.

What woke you up this morning?
My estranged sister.

Do your parents yell at you constantly about "cleaning up after yourself"?
I believe they have given up. hahaha.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Depends on how much grace I have.

What exciting event is coming up?
Camp tmr. Sigh.

What's so special about what you're wearing?
It's my first band shirt. Hillsong, yes they're a band.

Do you have a best friend?
ttly :)

Is there something you wish you could tell someone but can not?
Do I have to specify it?

Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can not even tolerate it?
Yes, loads

Where did you sleep last night?
bed.

Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
Heck, if there's a rational reason for it then i am fine.

What are you doing tomorrow?
camp.

What color shirt are you wearing?
black, but its faded.

Do you always answer your phone?
No.

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone a lot?
No.

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Crap, i woke up too late.

When is the last time you saw number two on your top friends?
Hahaha, if you mean ehong then i think about a week ago.

What's on your bedroom floor right now?
Clothes. Mine of course.

Are you a shy person?
I am outgoing but incredibly introverted. (yes that's possible)

Do you miss anyone?
No.

What is one thing in your life that is no longer there, that you miss?
stability.

Do you like long hugs?
I might get bored mid-hug.

Today I went to Pulau Ubin with E-Hong, his friends yiwai, yishen and mustaffa,
We rode around the island and took a break to rest at this beach. Swampy beach mind you. All the mudskippers and brown-grey wet sand.

As per usual, I couldn't resist to dip my feet into the water. Teehee. So as I sat there, I watched the waves roll in and out. At a distance, a speedboat skimmed past. After a while the waves at my feet crawled higher up the beach incline and I got my butt wet.

Edit: I GOT PICTURES!!
Okay if you didn't understand what I meant up there, I meant that the speedboat's movement in the water far away caused unusual wave behaviour i.e. wetting my butt by swooshing higher on to the beach.
Edit: More pictures!

The new movie is a stark contrast from their previous project together, also as a couple.

Can't say anything about 500 days of summer yet, because I haven't seen it. But Summer looks like sort of Juno-ish ingeniusity, hilarious lines with easy to watch scenes and highly relatable characters with gorgeous and mainstream sort of normal cinematography.

Manic on the other hand, was an indie-to-core, emotionally-charged acting with the most nauseating cinematography. Not because it was ugly but because the camera was probably held by someone with parkinson's disease, for the shaky-cam effect. I mean it gives the movie this raw and real look, but after 1 hour of it, watching it on an iPhone on your bed, you start to feel a little disorientated.

So manic is basically a movie of people in a madhouse, Joe being the one with manic depressive disorder or sth. He is prone to suddenly exploding in violent anger and all. Forgot what Zooey's one was, but it was beautiful watching two broken people come together (romantically) on film.

Aaaanyway, here's a picture of them together.

Okay so maybe my obsession is mainly because I love Joe, and Zooey is pretty. Plus since both of them are amazing artists and them working together just looks plain awesome.

I mean you rly gotta see Manic to know, like whoa! Very intense!

Okay, more media spam

here's a video.


EDIT: manic and donnie darko (movie of my lj banner) are of by the same studios i think.

Doubt, a status between belief and disbelief, involves uncertainty or distrust or lack of sureness of an alleged fact, an action, a motive, or a decision.

-Wikipedia. (lolz)

We all have our doubts amirite? As christians it's almost impossible to have complete certainty in our faith. I once had my own troubling doubts. So there was something I wanted, not like a material thing, but something. And I didn't get it, despite an immense amount of prayer. So I got disappointed, cuz I thought the bible said that "Ask and you'd recieve".

Classic story of doubt forming.

There is many arguments to counter your doubt and defend your faith; for example maybe it just wasn't God's will, God has something better in store. etc.

Question.

How did God not answering my prayers... along with other things lead to me wondering about truth of His existence?

How did my realisation that most churches have conflicting interests and sometimes questionable beliefs lead to me, again, toying with the idea that God doesn't exist, doesn't love me etc. etc.

See, the root of destructive doubts come from bitter feelings and lingering disappointment from things that are less than ideal. One thing will lead to another and wham! You have a case of the doubts.

The cure? Incubation or termination, your choice (this part is utter rubbish. the only cure for doubt is to poke jesus's hand holes, hahahah. JK)

The thing about christianity is that you won't see your beliefs. Sure some people hear the audible voice of God, but how many people have actually seen God. Like GOD. not God in man form aka Jesus. Therefore there is no visual evidence of the actual existence of God.

Faith comes into play here.

I once left my room to go to my kitchen for a ginger ale. (my drug, somebody get me one now!!!) As I am now nocturnal the house is incredibly quiet and dark at 2 am in the morning. I couldn't help but think, as I closed my room door and walked into the hall, whether my room disappears/ceases to exist as I walk out of it. Sounds completely illogical right? My room is still there whether or not I am standing in it, utilising it, basically experiencing it.

Isn't it the same with God?

Just because you don't experience him, he doesn't (seem to) answer your prayers, or give you epiphanies in the shower doesn't mean he doesnt exist. And it certainly doesn't mean he doesn't love you! I am not sure about your room loving you but God definitely does.

Just do yourself a favour and twist the door knob, swing open the door and step in.

My boss just called me and told me I wasn't needed today. Okay it sounds bad career wise, but now I am free for the day!


What to do, what to do.

Well.
I can go and play sims 3 and basically have no life.
I can also go to the library and read books. Fun! (I am srs)
I can go and revise my french
Go to town and explore. :D
Or i can go out with luwei (Most likely this will happen! Cant wait to see him looking like a walrus)
One thing though. I got no money! hahahaha.

Firstly goldfrappe sucks. And as much as I hate the further establish what a total idiot I am, but on top of me being spacey and completely absentminded, I have realised that I have yet to begin to grasp the rudiments of human relationships and the importance of keeping your sentences short.

Truth is I don't understand why is it so complicated. (Yeah I just realised it was complicated). For example someone hurts you and you can't bear to ruin the relationship, or can't afford to leave them. Therein enters the complicated human emotions that motivate my behaviour to do the opposite of what my instincts tell me. Which is to drop whatever you're holding (preferably a bomb so that there's no turning back. Because my instincts would tell me to keep myself out of harm's way.

Honestly I like to compartmentalise things in my head. All interactions with human beings are put into two categories. Good or bad and the appropriate course of action. This is the way I like it but it's not working out. Why? Because I am a complete mess right now.

Also I called my friends. Elijah was busy, Lora called and made it worse and my sister kept getting in the way. Plus I am completely inadequate when it comes to expressing myself. By now you should have realised that you have no idea what the problem is.

But Lora's badly timed call did make me realise something. Firstly her life's a mess, okay. Omg can the girl be anymore messed up? And she's the one taking a levels. Secondly despite the clutter, she is living her life. Not like me, I am being a chicken.

I have scoffed at peoples and their extreme lack of control of their lives. Anything a out someone I can break it down and criticize it.

Truth is I don't give anyone space to be human. And also, I kid myself into thinking that I have it under control by not throwing myself into the chaos.

Geez I rambled to much. Hope I made sense. Peace <- I am making this word happen.

Looks like something worthy to be in American gods right? haha, this is a saying by this greek philosopher thales. I am not very knowledgeable about philosophy.In fact anything apart from Socrates and the big shots, I have never actually heard about them.

I was being a nerd and reading up on Carl Jung on Wikipedia. I know you have to take whatever you read from wikipedia with a pinch of salt, but since this is simply casual reading, so what the heck. Anyway, one thing lead to another (you know how it's like with Wikipedia - link after link after link) and I wound up reading up his theories and ideas. They are amazing, I mean you say Sigmund Freud is good but wait till you see Carl Jung.

Carl Jung actually said that a spiritual experience, at least once is necessary for human beings. And AA? Alcoholic Anonymous was caused by him, although indirectly. He told his drunken patient that only God could help him. And he did, by seeking a spiritual experience and then yadda yadda AA was born.

Carl Jung's mother was supposedly haunted by spirits at night.  That was maybe around the late 1800s. Still it makes you wonder, was it common back then? I mean in the past this sort of things were all shushed up and swept under the carpet but I can't help but think it was more common back then. I watched the exorcism of emily rose, and I noticed that this sort of shows, where people ger tormented by spirits and all, are usually set in times before us. As if hauntings are a thing of the past.

Not to mention, the bible seem to have loads of spirit possessed people. I remember a story of a man so possessed he sat in graveyards and screeched about, basically exhibiting  behaviour that is not socially acceptable, and Jesus got rid of his tormenting spirits and tossed them to the pigs nearby. And Jesus had to constantly personally de-possess people. People would come and ask him to help their possessed children or husbands, etc., and occasionally a dead person or two gets resurrected.

It got me thinking, because we don't hear about this sort of things these days. Okay, so maybe it's happening but I just don't know about it. Let's assume its not happening as much as the past, shall we? If so, did the spirits decide to take a hike? call it a day, we-tortured-enough-people-already-satan-let-us-have-a-rest-for-another-100-years?

Or *tingles and giggles uncontrollably* now the gods are a different sort. Y'know, like in American gods. Hahaha, oh no this is so geeky I can die from shame. So in American gods Mr. Wednesday (and ex-god now out of job because nobody worships him, ahahaha) said that there are new gods now a force to be reckoned with. New gods? Like freeway and credit card, consumerism, sex, money, etc. You know, whatever people chase after these days.

So, I don't really know what context did Thales say "Everything is full of gods". And for all I know he could be a complete whack-job like the other philosophers - He did say that magnets have souls. Because if you look at gods as something that people chase and are obsessed with, as per the christian context, you'd find that everything, even money, sex, power can become gods if you let it be.

This might actually sound completely abstract and whacked, but hey, welcome to my mind. :D

PS: It's not because I am crazy, its normal for people with INTP MBTI traits...

I am officially 17! Yay me. It's the 30 of august 2009, and today I am 17. Its almost over, the day I am exactly 17. (It's 11.50pm now)

Well, someone said that birthdays are the celebration for the existence of a person. And today, I got loads of facebook messages telling me "Happy birthday" and all. To everyone who wished me happy birthday, thank you loads!

Well, now I am legally allowed to read seventeen magazine. HAHAHAHAHA.

Birthdays are excuses to say what I want. And this is what I want for the minute, as in RIGHT NOW.

While walking past this sale of bathroom supplies outside westmall, I saw a rack full of toilet plungers. Without any regard for the people around me, I took one toilet plunger and stuck it to my head, in broad daylight, looked around a while and put it back. This girl behind me had a bewildered expression on her face. Hilarious.

Hullo. How you doin.

Nothing to say.

teehee goodbye.

Why am I here?

Studying for sociology! and it's quite fulfilling. It's very time consuming though, all this studying. But it's really fun! :)

I gotta study psychology too though. hahaha